Love Them Unconditionally

Elsie SpittleAs I was listening to Jenny I heard that she fell in love with her true self. You know, as she uncovered her inner being, she fell in love with who she really is from the inside out, and so the outer self-image ceased to matter so much. And I certainly felt that myself, you know, as I began to discover who and what I really am on the inside, to uncover my birthright. That I'm beautiful from the inside-out, no matter what and that all humanity is beautiful from the inside out, and that the answer is love. Unconditional love.

And so I wouldn't talk to the child or youngster about their fear or any of their concerns about their self-image. I would draw out the love. I would draw out their natural mental health by loving them unconditionally.

And I'll give you a couple of examples that came to mind as Jenny was talking. One is within my own family: After I had that first insight and I started to change, myself, I started to see my family with different eyes just naturally. Not that I did anything different or that I desired to see my family change. It just evolved; it unfolded in a very natural way. So again to link to what Jenny said earlier, there's nothing that I did deliberately. You know, change just happened naturally and so I just naturally viewed my family differently.

However there were times when my old patterns of thought would come into play, for example when my children's rooms were messy or they hadn't done their homework and I'd get their report card and the marks were poor so the old thinking would come back up again and I would talk to them and probably... not probably, I would talk to them in a more confrontational manner about what they should do, that they need to bring their marks up, they need to keep their room tidy, and so on and so forth. And it didn't work. It was the same old same old. So I'd get wrought up about this and I remember, and this is going back years, I remember talking to Barb Banks, Syd's wife at the time and who passed away in 1986 or 87, I think it was. And I was sharing my woe about the kids and how I wasn't able to reach them and change their behavior. And she said to me, and I'll never forget this, she said, "Elsie, just love them. Instead of focusing on your children's behavior, just love them for who they are on the inside. Love them unconditionally."

And I said, "Barb, how can I do that when there's garbage underneath my daughter's bed and in-between the mattress and everything... how can I love her unconditionally?"

And she said, "I can't tell you how but I know if you do so, that will bring about the change you're looking for."

So this I did set out to do deliberately and I took my daughter out for lunch. But in the course of taking her out for lunch and just spending time with her and giving her my undivided attention, I slipped into my innate health. It was no longer a deliberate to-do thing to try to get her behavior to change. It was coming from unconditional love naturally. I slipped into it and I use that word meaningfully to show the naturalness of how our innate mental health just comes into play. And during the course of lunch, it came to me to take her out shopping because she'd been wanting a desk for her room, just something simple, and I had poopoo-ed it and didn't pay attention to it, but it came to me from that place of mental health, that "Why not? Let her choose it." Rather than what I had been thinking with my old patterns of thought. And we had the most wonderful afternoon. She selected what she wanted.

Long story short, that brought about change in her. The unconditional love that we shared together in that afternoon brought about a shift in both of our level of Consciousness, level of understanding. I don't know that I could have articulated it at that time to say that it was a shift in my level of understanding and in my daughter's level of understanding. What I can say, is I was aware, I became aware that after that, she was different. She was responding to love.

Elsie Spittle
www.3phd.net

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