I Heard Him Today

Sue LachmanThat's right, I heard him today! I thought I always listened and heard what my husband said, in fact I was always the one listening and he rarely listened to me, or so I thought.

My husband commutes to the UK once a month for work and spends the week rushing around seeing clients and of course buying the odd one or two things we still feel we can't do without here in Israel. The end result is that by the time he takes the underground to the airport and flies back home, he is fairly exhausted.

In the meantime, I on the other hand have spent the time running around the children, getting up extra early to ensure there is enough time for one person to do what two normally does and the same at the other end of the day. This of course is apart from me traveling to see a client or Skyping or phoning people.

When we finally meet at the airport we are both tired to say the least and both of us want to tell the other how hard their week had been.  The stories would usually continue into the next day and we would each demand the other to listen until the very end and even get annoyed when one thought the other wasn't listening.  My point was of course always the most important and to my husband, his point was of paramount importance.

However something changed one week after learning about listening' and in particular about listening with nothing on my mind.  That month, I met my husband at the airport, smiled and listened quietly without saying anything.  The most amazing thing happened the next morning when my husband started to speak to me and I stood opposite him listening, but listening with nothing on my mind!   And although thoughts drifted in about this and that, I gave them no credence and therefore came straight back to the present and back into listening.  I know a couple of times I thought, Ah, that's the problem that's what he is saying to me but I just paid the thoughts no attention and my need to fix anything and to try and hold on to and remember what I believed was the key, was the answer, just dissipated because I paid those thoughts no attention.

When my husband finished speaking, which he told me had been for 15 minutes, there was silence and then suddenly out of nowhere, I felt compelled to tell him how sorry I was for not been grateful and thanking him for all he does for me and the family.  His surprise was visible in particular when he asked how I knew that he felt somewhat annoyed sometimes that I seemed to take things and him for granted.  I don't know how it happened, it was magic and the beauty of it is that it came from deep within me and just made sense to say in the moment. Everyone has the same possibility for the same glimpse of the magic, just by listening with nothing on your mind, it is so easy and can give a different perspective to what we always assume we know.

Sue Lachman
www.suelachman.com

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