A Thought Away

Oana VaideanuNine months ago I decided to separate from my boyfriend. We have been almost five years together and he was family. Though for some strange reason I decided to let him go. Now I can't see the reasons anymore... I remember vaguely that it was related to him not wanting to have children or marry or maybe it was because he didn't earn enough money? I don't know... It was a lot of negative thinking back then. And also the thrill of meeting someone new! Yes! That amount of adrenaline and unknown secrets...I met my actual husband and with the glasses that I had back then he seemed to be everything I wished for. Oau! Was I not lucky! Everything happened very fast... separation, me remaining alone with my son and struggling to manage job, household, private life. Being managing director at a company, travelling and working a lot didn't make things very easy; I was so missing the support of my ex-partner and his parents.

Then my new partner moved over (he is from another country) and everything which should look better looked worse!!! He was moody and not sociable and instead of getting help I had to give some more help. We discussed what we thought went wrong and it looked even more wrong. We married because he couldn't else prolong his visa or was it also for another reason?

In the meantime he shared about the 3P, he picked it up from a Russian woman friend and I'm telling to myself, "Oh my God, does he only have women friends?

So I started to read Jack Pransky's parenting book because my 6 year old son had tantrums and I didn't know how to continue from that point. I started to understand the importance of our thinking in creating our life experience. I started to understand moods and how to stay back when I'm tired or hungry. I started to accept my son moods and just support him at those moments. Just the awareness that bad feelings come from bad thoughts made it better.

I wrote an email to the 3P platform inquiring about trainings and Jack Pransky answered immediately that he will be in Switzerland next week, to contact Tammy. I got his answer while being on a business trip to Germany, and the timing was just immediately after the trip. I could make it only if I had travel directly. Can I meet him and attend the parenting seminar? Should I? Is it maybe too much money? Am I going to be ok by myself? What about my son?

It was so much insecure thinking around that. Getting a good thought, I decided to go. Everything seemed to fall in place, I got the transportation and hotel booked and even my colleague switched suitcases with me so I can travel light. The journey to Zurich was a blessing. I felt grateful and happy! Quiet and calm! ... And a little bit excited; mostly grateful... no trace of "feeling lonely" which I usually was when travelling alone. No trace of insecurity, it was vanished. I was trustful that everything that will come would be the right path. The mountains were so beautiful... I was grateful and tears of happiness were rolling on my face. No network at the phone, what a blessing!

After the seminar and this day I remained with a very good feeling and started to trust life in a different way.

I wish to share some funny story: After coming back, I had a discussion with my husband, which we decided to end because we were both starting to have bad feelings and were engaging in a going down spiral. I was trying to stop thinking about it so started to mentally choose the clothes that I was going to wear next day, process which last usually around 15 minutes. Now I just managed to do it in a glance and caught myself going back to those bad thoughts that we engaged in the discussion. Noticing that, just made me laugh. I shared it to my husband and he also started laughing and the mood immediately changed. Isn't that great? I'm still thinking of my old partner and comparing. Bad feelings come up, of course. What changed? I recognize now that it is a bad mood and they just go faster away and I don't do anything about that.

My level of happiness increased, people around me perceive me as more energized and more pleasant to be with. My son is happy and didn't have any tantrums in 5 months and my husband is so dear to me! And it's getting better and better...

Oana Vaideanu
coaching@oanavaideanu.com

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